As I so often hear on the streets of Chi-town, “I know, right?” I said I was returning to the blog and then I vanished for a week. I was planning to be much more regular with this right away! At least I’ve been doing lots of planning for future entries that, I have to say, are gonna be awesome (Michelle W., I’m talking about you!).

I do have a good reason for being absent. Well, it’s good in a somewhat scary, life-turning-upside-down way. Recently my husband Mike and I bought our first home–a 3-bedroom condo on the north side of Chicago (in Rogers Park, if you know the area). I’m so excited to have our own place! Our new neighborhood feels very much like a neighborhood–it’s very green with lots of trees, and our place is four blocks from Lake Michigan and Loyola Beach. It’s the closest I’m going to get to my dream of owning a beach house for awhile, so it’s exciting. Here’s the scary part: Because we’re moving so far away from our current neighborhood (Greektown/the West Loop, for you Chicago folks), I’m not just getting a new home but also a new job. Although the commute is only about 6 - 7 miles from where I work right now, in minutes it’s probably over an hour, door-to-door. So I’m leaving my current day job, as a nanny, in two weeks. I’m sad to go, because I love the little girl I care for. And I’m scared, too, because unemployment in Chicago is around 11% right now. Jobs are hard to come by! I’m putting out resumes and doing all that stuff, but it’s a little nervewracking. I hate when things are up in the air.

On top of that stress, we are really running behind on packing. I know I’m going to be spending every minute from now until next Wednesday trying to organize the move. I love unpacking a new place but packing up an old place is never as fun, you know? Even with the opportunity to purge, which I admit I like, it’s still stressful. So things may be sporadic here on the blog for a couple of weeks, but when I get to the other side of this thing I have a feeling that there will be a lot of fun stuff to talk about. New places, new experiences, a new home–all of that makes me chatty!

Here’s a taste of things to come: interviews with creative entrepreneurs; features on running a business (the gritty details and the fun); how-to projects on decorating on a budget, including photos of how I updated my two wingback chairs using fabric paint; some art projects that demonstrate just how long I’ve been away from the canvas, and many photos of our new place as I make it a home.

I’ve been thinking a lot about what this blog should be. Blogging has never been something that comes very naturally to me. I had a personal blog for about five minutes back in 2003, but I stopped doing it because I never could get used to being so out there for everyone to see. Although I’ve always journaled privately, blogging is so public and exposed. As a journaler I tend to ramble on about whatever I’m thinking or feeling whereas with a blog I always feel like I’m editing myself to be more interesting. Also, with this blog being linked to my business I wasn’t sure how personal to get. Before, blogging never felt very authentic so it never stuck. Now, starting up with it again, it’s like my third incarnation of blogging and I’m hoping that this time I can do it right.

My favorite band–ask anyone who has met me more than once–is Indigo Girls. I’ve loved them for 10 years and have seen them in concert enough times that I know they recognize me now (although not enough for them to know my name or be afraid that I’m stalking them–I hope!). One half of the band is Amy Ray, who wrote a song called “Second Time Around” for their new album. It’s this great, mandolin-heavy song that’s kind of like a long, rambling conversation. This is one of the verses:

“See I never want to sing again
La la la like a butterfly
Without my wits about me
Without my heart in line
Third times a charm
And this is mine”

It really sums up what I’m trying to do with this blog. Really be true to myself, write from my heart and my head, and trust that by doing so I’ll have something valid to offer readers.

My plan is to write a lot about the journey of owning a creative business. Maybe to provide some inspiration for people who are interested in taking that first big step for themselves. Maybe to compare notes with others in the throes of running their own company. Maybe to just to gush about the good times and kvetch about the tough ones, even; because while owning this business is the most challenging thing I’ve ever done, it’s also the most rewarding and I’ve very glad I’ve started down this road.

I’m hoping to interview other creative business owners making their way and working for themselves, so if you’re interested in being interviewed, drop me a note. I’d love to feature you. Look for my first interview with Michelle Ward of When I Grow Up coming soon!

I’m also sure that my personal life will sneak in sometimes and I hope that’s okay, too. I want you to know the real me, including the people I love, the two sweet cats who sit faithfully beside me while I write this, the excitement and successes and setbacks and charms of following as closely as possibly the path of living the life of my dreams.

It has been months and months since I’ve blogged, and I’m sorry. Why have I been gone? The answer is both simple and complicated: I’ve had nothing to say. And this is why.

I think everyone goes through a honeymoon phase with things they love–new relationships, new friendships, new businesses… We build up dreams around our new loves, see only the ideal, staunchly defend what we love in the face of any discovered flaws or disappointments. And then the reality that nothing and no one will ever be perfect pushes its way into our ideal, and we have to come to terms with loving something or someone for who they are, rather than for what we want them to be.

What I’m trying to say is that the bloom was off the rose for a while. I’d spent a year building this business–writing mission statements, designing the brand, putting my whole self and all of these beautiful ideals and dreams into it. And then it was finished and, unlike in my dreams, it didn’t really get much business. It was, in fact, pretty much as inactive as it gets. I didn’t expect an overnight success, but I thought it would get some attention and gradually pick up speed. The truth was, I got few visits, fewer sales, and it was discouraging. I had spent every waking hour (including many hours in the middle of the night when I should have been sleeping) working on The Sweet Unfolding. I was exhausted, worried, terrified, disillusioned. On top of that, I’d sunk a (relative) fortune into it, and I was quickly going broke. It hurt. I felt like I was failing myself, my business, and all the people who has supported and believed in me.

So I did the worst thing I could do: Nothing. I just checked out. I got a part-time job as a nanny to cover the bills of the business. And while I continued to do lots of planning for The Sweet Unfolding, I couldn’t seem to shake off the heaviness that held me down and kept me from moving forward. I was afraid to try again, afraid of more failure.

Then one afternoon not long ago I had an inspiration for a birthday party–a  whole kit of coordinating items to make a really awesome party. It turned into the design for our O Happy Day party set, which I am putting the finishing touches on now and hope to post soon. Designing that one item set me into motion and from then on I haven’t been able to stop. I needed to find my passion for what I was doing, and by focusing on my own designs I remembered what I loved about creating my company. I remembered my vision, and what it is I set out to do–to offer beautiful items to celebrate meaningful moments in people’s lives. I’ve fallen in love with The Sweet Unfolding again, but it’s a wiser, more mature, more committed love.

So please forgive me for my absence. I hope you’ll continue to stop by this little shop and catch up with us as I work to make it something truly special.